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Helping a Family Member with Dementia Accept Care

Helping a Family Member with Dementia Accept Care

May 3, 2024

Facing the reality of moving a loved one with dementia into a care facility can be one of the most emotionally challenging experiences for families. The situation becomes even more complicated when the person with dementia does not agree with this plan and may even refuse to go. In this blog, we'll explore practical strategies to help a loved one with dementia who is resistant to getting the care they need.

Understanding Resistance

Before delving into strategies, it's crucial to understand why a dementia patient might resist going into care:

Loss of Autonomy

Many dementia patients fear losing control over their lives and decision-making abilities. This loss of control can trigger anxiety, resistance, and even feelings of helplessness or frustration.

Fear of the Unknown

Moving into a care facility represents a significant life change, and the unknown can be frightening for anyone, especially those with cognitive impairments. Fears may revolve around fear of unfamiliar surroundings, the loss of familiar faces and routines, and the uncertainty of what to expect in their new living situation. 

Attachment to Home

The familiarity and comfort of home can be deeply ingrained, making the prospect of leaving it distressing. The thought of leaving behind cherished memories, personal belongings, and the physical space where they've lived for years can evoke strong emotions of loss, grief, and displacement. 

Denial of Condition

Some patients may struggle to accept or acknowledge the reality of their condition, either due to fear, stigma, or a genuine lack of awareness of their cognitive decline. Consequently, they may resist efforts to seek help, undergo assessments, or consider alternative living arrangements, such as moving into a care facility.

Strategies for Encouragement

Open Communication

Engage in open, honest conversations about their concerns and preferences, and remember that this is a heavy time for both of you. Listen attentively and validate their feelings, acknowledging the difficulty of the situation.

Empowerment through Choice

Offer choices whenever possible, such as having them participate in selecting a care facility or deciding on aspects of their daily routine. This empowers them and helps them maintain a sense of control.

Gradual Transition

If feasible, consider a gradual transition into care. Start by introducing the idea slowly, perhaps with short visits to the facility or arranging for in-home care services before a permanent move.

Familiarity and Comfort

Personalize the new environment as much as possible to make it feel familiar and comforting. Bring cherished belongings, photographs, and familiar furniture to create a sense of continuity.

Routine and Structure

Establishing a predictable routine can provide a sense of stability and security for the person with dementia. Consistent mealtimes, activities, and social interactions help ease the transition.

Involvement of Loved Ones

Encourage participation from family members and friends during the transition process. Having familiar faces around can provide emotional support and reassurance.

Professional Guidance

Seek advice and support from healthcare professionals, including dementia specialists and social workers. They can offer valuable insights and guidance tailored to the individual's needs.

Addressing Underlying Concerns

Explore the specific reasons behind the person's resistance and address any underlying fears or misconceptions. 


Validate the person's emotions, even if you may not fully understand or agree with their perspective. Empathize with their feelings of loss, fear, or frustration and reassure them that their emotions are valid.

Patience and Persistence

Be prepared for resistance and setbacks along the way. Patience and persistence are key virtues in supporting someone through this challenging process. It may take time for the person to adjust and accept the new reality.

Additional Considerations

Transitioning a loved one with dementia into care is not a one-time event - but rather an ongoing journey that requires continuous support and adaptation. Here are a couple of tips to help you navigate this journey:

Legal and Financial Planning

Ensure that legal and financial matters, such as power of attorney and estate planning, are addressed in advance. This can help streamline the transition process and ensure that the person's wishes are respected.

Regular Reassessment

As the person's condition evolves, regularly reassess their needs and preferences regarding care. Flexibility and adaptability are essential in providing the best possible support.

Stay Informed and Educated

Continuously educate yourself about dementia and its progression, as well as available resources and support services. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions and advocate effectively for your loved one's needs.

Encourage Social Connections

Loneliness and isolation can exacerbate feelings of distress and resistance. Encourage social interactions and connections with peers within the care facility, fostering a sense of belonging and community.

Seek Emotional Support

Don't hesitate to seek emotional support for yourself and other family members as you navigate this journey. Joining support groups or seeking counseling can provide a safe space to share experiences, gain insights, and receive encouragement from others who understand what you're going through.

Respect for Dignity 

Above all, maintain a deep respect for the person's dignity and autonomy throughout the transition process. Treat them with compassion, patience, and dignity, honoring their unique identity and life journey.

Amidst the challenges, cherish moments of connection, joy, and love shared with your loved one. Whether it's a smile, a gentle touch, or a shared memory, these moments are precious and meaningful.


Helping a dementia patient accept the transition into care requires a multifaceted approach that combines empathy, communication, and practical strategies. By understanding the person's concerns, empowering them through choice, and providing personalized support, families can navigate this challenging journey with compassion and resilience. Remember, every individual's experience is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Approach the process with patience, understanding, and a commitment to preserving the person's dignity and well-being above all else. If you need help navigating care for your loved one or getting them the care they need, click here to learn more about Tembo Health.

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